Baci’s Life Blog

Some of the lessons are what would be described as old school and some may be overly simplistic, but the hard truth is that each lesson works!

Lesson 1: “Save like you have no job and 6 mouths to feed.”

For my parents, saving was akin to a religion. They didn’t save 10 or 20 percent of their paycheck; rather they saved close to half of their take home pay. I suspect the urge to save is an instinctual feeling for many recent immigrants who arrive in a new country with no job and no home. The ability to save such a large percentage of what they made was dependent on controlling how much they spent each week. If you live well below your means you can save a large percentage of your weekly income.

Lesson 2: “Look for non-material ways to feel rich.”

My parents have never owned a fancy car or purchased luxury clothes or items. My parents hardly dine out or buy pre-cooked or packaged food. Rather, Annunziata and Tommaso find true fulfillment in family, great food, wine, and visiting the country where they were born. My parents appreciate nice, material things, but they are not defined or fulfilled via acquiring the aforementioned things.

Lesson 3: “Use your network for help.”

This means finding an uncle who does plumbing and a cousin who is a paralegal at a law firm. My parent’s family network has helped me, personally, with home improvement, legal advice, emergency situations (taking care of babies or a ride to the hospital), etc. If I had to pay a stranger every time I needed something done in my life, I would not only be broke, but I would lack real friends and family. The real life lesson here is to nurture family relationships and not rush to pay someone to do something for you. (There are other ways to reward people without a large check).

Lesson 4: “What’s a credit card?”

If you look at my dad’s wallet on a typical day it would resemble George Costanza’s wallet from Seinfeld – full of notes and papers and a good amount of cash. My father pays for everything in cash, and if he doesn’t have the cash, he will either not purchase the item or go to the bank and take out money. My parents have had very little credit card activity over the last 30 years, and I think it’s a key component to their practical lifestyle – (that is to say, you can’t buy stuff if you don’t have the cash!).

Lesson 5: “You can’t count on your job – always have other sources of income.”

My parents bought a two family home shortly after arriving in the US. The logic behind purchasing a two family home centered on having a monthly reoccurring revenue stream outside of a normal job. Sure, they would have liked a single family home with a larger yard and without constant maintenance in their rental unit, but they like the cash more! Do you have cash coming in every month outside of your normal job? If not, you may not be as financially secure as you think you are!

Lessons 6: “Do it yourself.”

My parents are both incredibly crafty. My dad performs his own car repairs, produces homemade wine, renovates his own home (including plumbing and electrical), cuts his own grass, and more. My mother makes all of her own food, cans tomatoes and vegetables, sews, cleans, and grows and tends a garden, among many other things. My parents have often told me that if the world were to fall into disrepair they would have no problem living their life. (They are independent and self sufficient).

Lesson 7: “Trust your family, be wary of everyone else.”

This may sound like a line out of the Godfather, but the fact that American society is based on a capitalist operating principle will motivate everyone from the shop owner to the general contractor to make as much money as possible from you, and there are no safety nets when it comes to preserving the wealth you’ve worked hard to acquire. This life lesson is akin to former Intel CEO Andy Groove’s line: “Only the Paranoid Survive.”

Lesson 8: “You are not defined by your job or fame.”

A job or career usually defines most adults in Anglo-Saxon cultures. Ask any typical American about their life, and the narrative usually centers on their work or job. If you ask the typical person from Southern Italy about their life, they’ll tell you stories about their family, homeland, last name, daughters, sons, food they grow, or wine they make. (I swear this isn’t connected to the high unemployment rate.) My parents are defined by who they are and not the job they do for someone else or the amount of money in their paycheck each week. This is a powerful principle to live by, and once you truly embrace it, the byproduct can be quite liberating.

Lesson 9: “Think big picture.”

Do you ever become overwhelmed by a problem you can’t, for the life of you, see past the immediate future? Maybe you’re worried about your job or if little Timmy will get accepted to Harvard in a few years, for example? These are illustrations of “small picture” thinking, and it can handicap many individuals from getting through tough moments in their life. Like many immigrants, my parents had to somehow block out the immediacy of not having much when they arrived in the US, in order think long term about the type of life they would someday lead.

Lesson 10: “Ignore your neighbors.”

I’m convinced that many individuals lead their life according to the goings-on of their neighbors. For example, if Doris next door leases a shiny new German sedan, you may be compelled to question the worth or legitimacy of your 10-year-old Ford sitting in the driveway. If, by the miracle of home refinancing, Doris adds another 800 square feet to her over-leveraged center hall colonial, you may all of sudden feel cramped in your tiny Cape-Cod-style home. What is my parents’ opinion of neighborhood goings-on? Make friends, and be a good neighbor, but don’t follow the neighbor into debt and materialism.

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    “DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
    “What?”
    “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to __________ today.’
5. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the nagative blues away.
18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
    
21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Remember God heals everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often.
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for _______. Today I accomplished ____.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.

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